The Desire to do Everything


For a few years now one of my main fears has been worrying that I’m not living life to the fullest. As one of my favourite artists, Claude Monet, has been known to say “Everyday I discover more and more beautiful things. It’s enough to drive one mad. I have such a desire to do everything, my head is bursting with it”. It is a vicious cycle of wanting to do everything, be everything and be everywhere. My mind is constantly a buzz of plans and ideas – sometimes it can be so overwhelming I do none of them, not knowing where to start.

As new days dawn my plans change from wanting to drop everything and move to a foreign country, quitting my job and travelling for as long as my money will allow or finding a 9-5 job and starting my career. I know I’m not the only one with this train of thought, especially considering society makes those in their 20s feel they have to have their shit together but the real truth is that everyone is as lost as each other. No one is given a rule book or cheat sheet when they’re born, we are all just trying to figure it out as we go.

I don’t want to leave any stone unturned and I especially don’t want to be old and grey and look back on my life and think “what if”. My advice to myself and to those who are thinking similarly is to take each day as it comes. Sure, plan for your future, but don’t stress about being at a certain point in your life at a particular time. I want to live in Paris for a few months, learning the language and living above a cafe, I want to roll out of bed in the Maldives and snorkel in the crystal clear water below, I want to move to New York, partying with the best of them, living in a bohemian apartment and working at a job I love. This doesn’t mean that I have to worry about every facet of my life and every decision I make right now.

I don’t want to grow up just to get by, I want to live. I know there is a little spark in all of us that can turn into a big fire if you feed it the right thoughts. Instead of stressing about where you are in life write a list, a list of your wishes, dreams and moments of joy you want to experience at some point in your life. It makes everything seem less daunting and helps you visualise what you want from life.

I have often said that the only pressure I feel is from myself, which is just silly.We will all end up where we’re meant to eventually, we just have to enjoy the crazy ride that is our lives.

Stay golden,

Billie xx


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